Elizabeth, you have been married before, haven’t you?
Oh yes. And may I say that I hope that many, many young women will learn what I have (albeit too late, to save my first marriage)–sparing their precious children untold anguish over their lifetimes. Divorce it is a hellish abyss that breaks the hearts of children. My son did not survive it.
Oh Elizabeth. I am so sorry. It’s incredibly profound and generous of you to share your story with us. Of course, I agree with what you are saying about divorce. But I see that you are happy now in your current later-in-life marriage, though your husband has a serious medical condition?
My goodness! What have you learned about men and marriage that has helped you in that special situation?
Well, when I learned about the male quest from Wife for Life University, I thought to myself, “Well, this probably won’t apply to my marriage since my husband’s lifetime quests were fulfilled during his earlier years of raising a family with his “lifetime wife” of 38 years. In part, that was true. But now, since my husband is feeling his mind darken and become full of heavy fog due to his frontal temporal dementia, he has begun grasping at whatever his mortal sojourn can still give to and receive from him.
How is that playing out, if you don’t mind sharing?
I want to share! My husband has begun to take extraordinary pleasure in nature, having shared with me that he feels almost as though he communicates with the gulls, geese, and swans he sees on the beach and forest trails. He takes his iPhone with him on long, long walks and makes videos, which he excitedly brings home to share with me. He wants me to watch them immediately or he gets frustrated. When he began doing this, I didn’t realize just how important it all was to him.
Then you began applying the things we were talking about in class, about understanding our husband’s needs and fears?
That’s it. After a number of illuminating incidents, I have changed my approach to all of it. I try to show great interest in the things he wants to do, and when he wants to show me something, I know that he means NOW. I just need to be there to love and respect him on his journey.
That is so beautiful. God bless you, Elizabeth. Thank you again for inspiring us.
Thank you, Ramona, for the things that you’ve taught me. God bless you for all that you have done, are doing. You are making a difference, and I have no doubt the angels rejoice when another wife sees the light. You are a gem–a treasure. Bless you, dear one. Bless you and yours.
Isn’t Elizabeth stunning? Even at her stage of life and with all she has to deal with in caring for her husband, she has found the time and desire and the resources to make her marriage the top priority in her life.
How much does Adele comprehend that same lesson, do you think….
So Adele, you’re still basically a newlywed. Do you consider yourself a Wife for Life?
Of course! I guess you could say that I’ve been a Wife for Life since before my husband and I were engaged, and I can’t imagine our marriage without it!
How is that?
A very dear friend of mine introduced me to Wife for Life and to Wife for Life University while I was still dating my now-husband.
I so wish more young women though like you! When they are early in love, at that stage, they don’t see the need to learn more about becoming a wife. But you’re different, aren’t you?
I guess I am! As a child of divorced parents, I had more than the usual fears and concerns about marriage and relationships. I’d tried reading so many other books on marriage, but they always felt so inauthentic, or they required me contorting myself into something so different from the individual that I am. Right from the start, I knew that Wife for Life was different – all that it presented just seemed to make sense, and felt so NATURAL as I began to follow the practices.
When did you actually start applying the principles and feeling the impact?
People had always told me the first year of marriage is the hardest, and as I look back, sure, it had its challenges, but it was a WONDERFUL year, too! And I credit Wife for Life University with our beautiful first 13 months of marriage. I went through my first semester of Wife for Life University 4 months after we were married, and it was such a marriage saver.
Fabulous! How was it a “marriage saver” at such an early stage?
It reduced any major struggles, and the usual newlywed squabbles, into manageable opportunities for us to grow closer and stronger together. Where there was fear and insecurity before in our relationship there was now growing strength and confidence. After seeing the amazing changes in my marriage after one time through Wife for Life University, I knew that one time wasn’t enough for me!
Hahaha. You’ve enrolled repeatedly, haven’t you? We love it, but can you tell us why you keep coming back?
Because having the class as a place to ask questions, make connections, and receive your personal mentoring has helped me to not only grow into the best wife I can be, but to become my best SELF. Being a part of Wife for Life University has led to greater partnership, patience, and intimacy in our marriage. I’ve gained a better understanding and appreciation of my husband as a man, and of the differences between us that ultimately make us so perfect together. I love it. I’m hooked!
Adele is Elizabeth’s wish come true — a young woman who has learned what Elizabeth wishes she had learned much sooner: how to craft a lasting, truly grand marriage!
What can we take away from these two extraordinary women?
Just this: It is never too late! And it is never too early!
Wife for Life University helps women from every stage of life and marital experience gain the powerful skills, confidence, and long-range vision needed to affect their own happiness as well as the ultimate outcome of their marriage.
The school’s highly effective approach is built on three pillars that work together to create a truly life-changing experience: TRANSFORMATIVE LEARNING, PERSONALIZED MENTORING, and COMMUNITY SUPPORT.
Wife for Life University Full Experience is open for Fall Semester through September 9th. Is it right for you?